When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time with my cousins. The family would generally meet at Uncle Walt and Aunt Millie’s house in the little town of Reedley, where there was a lot of room to gather and play. On one occasion, the kids decided to play baseball. We made the short trek to the area between the backyard and the cow pasture where we laid out the bases. My brother was the pitcher and I was the catcher while each cousin came to bat, hoping to send the baseball toward the solitary cow grazing beyond the fence.
I was ready. I had my mitt and a sense of determination that I would catch the errant fastballs that came flying from the pitcher. I saw the ball leave his hand and observed the swing of the bat as my cousin tried her best to hit the ball to the cow. Unfortunately, she missed the ball and it hit me smack in the forehead! Stunned and confused, I’m pretty sure I saw stars as my cousins gathered around to see if I was okay. Except for a large knot growing above my right eye, I thought I might be all right. Another brave cousin took over my catching duties and I headed to the infield as the second baseman. Just another fun day with the family.
Later that night, after my mom tucked me in bed, I closed my eyes in anticipation of sleep after a hard day of playing. Suddenly, I could see the baseball coming at me, again and again. I quickly opened my eyes to make it stop. The vision of that baseball affected my sleep for many years. The only way I could safely fall asleep was to hold my hands over my face so the ball would not hit me.
Sometimes, life feels like that. I think I’m prepared and ready, but somehow, I get smacked in the head by someone or something. I keep wondering what signals I miss that allow that to happen. Am I not paying attention? Is my trust misplaced? Perhaps it was just an accident? Is Satan trying to attack me? I don’t always know the reason, but when the fiery darts of the evil one come at me, I have faith in the One who shields me with His nail-scarred hands and gives me courage when I place my trust in Him – Jesus.
In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one. – Ephesians 6:16 (ESV)
Simple Faith 
Amen! He is our shield!!!
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Well said.
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After I read your devotion, I read Calvin Millier’s Celtic Devotions. The following is from day seven. “This day we come to the Christ of our completion. We are incomplete when we face dread by ourselves. Yet I am such a pilgrim as often refuses map and compass, then travels through the canyons of demonic fear alone. When I do at last admit there is a monster in my path, my admission sets my doubts upon me and I stumble, not to rise with any strength until I say, ‘Come I this day to Christ.’ And then my enemies but hear his name, they take my trembling on themselves. And the cross where every fear was conquered falls in splintered force and all the demons die, and I stand reciting my only requiem, ‘Come I this day to Christ.’ “
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I love that. Thank you!
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Deanna, your story is powerful because you are describing how all of us in one way or another allow growing-up wounds and the lies that come with them to continue to create ungodly responses. I praise God that He has used that emotional wound to help others. Thank you!
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